The Mystery Within

There is a mystery to life. A mystery that leaves us wondering of the next turn, the ups and the down. There is a mystery of how in the midst of sorrow we can feel joy. A mystery that in the midst of hate we can still feel love. It's a mystery. It's a mystery how even when we have everything how we want and say that we 'need' more. It's amazing how with the same mouth from which we can say, 'I love you", we can say "I hate you". It's a mystery how a God so good and righteous and Holy can love and care for someone so tainted and broken and messed up as me. How he loves me is beyond comprehension. I am no better now than I was before Aug 29th, actually I think that I am worse.

I find that I am angrier now than ever before and I am not certain why. Yet in the midst of this I am at my most creative. I find now that I am more aware of what is important and what is not, yet at the same time I am wrestling with the vanity of it all. I am considering myself a mystery. Between the space of 24hours I had two people that I barely know or would hardly expect to be thinking of me, call me and say that the Lord has placed me on their heart to pray for me. I find this interesting because I would consider this entire week a good week minus the car accident, of which i was in the wrong. Thankfully, no one was hurt. But all of this makes me wonder what is God up to? What does He have planned that I am unaware of and if the angels are fighting on my behalf how come I am so unaware that I am in trouble? I tell you my friends it is all a mystery.

"Father not my will but thine be done."

Ecclesiastes 1

Everything Is Meaningless

1 The words of the Teacher, son of David, king in Jerusalem:

2 "Meaningless! Meaningless!"
says the Teacher.
"Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless."

3 What does man gain from all his labor
at which he toils under the sun?

4 Generations come and generations go,
but the earth remains forever.

5 The sun rises and the sun sets,
and hurries back to where it rises.

6 The wind blows to the south
and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
ever returning on its course.

7 All streams flow into the sea,
yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from,
there they return again.

8 All things are wearisome,
more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing,
nor the ear its fill of hearing.

9 What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.

10 Is there anything of which one can say,
"Look! This is something new"?
It was here already, long ago;
it was here before our time.

11 There is no remembrance of men of old,
and even those who are yet to come
will not be remembered
by those who follow.