The Turning of A Chapter

Last night I came to a realization that I am truly in the Father's care and the purpose for my life is continuous and unknown for the most part.  However, what I do know is that He has a purpose for me and a purpose for this.  I could continue to grieve, whine and complain.  I could continue to pity myself and declare that this life is meaningless without true understanding.  Yet there is one thing that I have learned and it is that I am a strong woman, a woman of wisdom and imperfections.  I may not be the best but I am the best person to accomplish the purpose God has assigned to me.  

The Father spoke to my heart and was the only one to make sense of the statement, "Malik was here to serve his purpose and his purpose was completed."  At the time when people said that it didn't make sense and to be honest now it still doesn't make sense completely.  My statement to their platitude was always, "What in the world could the purpose of my son have been as an infant in the womb?"  I got my answer last night in worship.  The Holy Spirit ministered to me as 'clear as day', as we say in the Bahamas, and said that Malik's life and process of growth and death was all to make room in my life for the purpose that is being birthed out of me.  My heart's increased capacity and this entire experience is all apart of God drawing me into His purpose and though I am not certain of what that is I am finally free and the burden removed.  I am finally able to look at my life and see more than I feel.   Yes, at times I 'feel' helpless and hopeless.  At times I feel tired and beaten down but that's only what I feel and not what I know.

I know that all things work together for good for them that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.  I know that I have been fearfully and wonderfully made and made in His image and in His likeness.  I know that He is concerned with everything that concerns me and says that I am blessed in the city and blessed in the fields.  He says that I am the head and not the tail and above and not beneath.  He says that when the enemy comes in like a flood the Spirit of the Lord will raise up a standard before him.  My God, my Father, my friend that sticks closer than a brother says that He who has begun a good work in me is faithful to complete it.  I Know The God That I Serve and He said that He will never leave me nor forsake me.  I love my God and though at times I don't do what I should or say what I should, or pray like I should He is always there.  Oh thank you Jesus for always interceding on my behalf ensuring that I have the ear of the Father.  

I am only a vessel of the Father and however, He needs to use me or get my attention then so be it.  Therefore, I have decided to bring this chapter of my journey to a close.  No more having a space to cry on or a place to continue my self loathing and anguish, all of that/this is meaningless. Who is this blog helping really?  All it does is perpetuate the sadness and I am not sad any more. I'm not angry anymore.  I've got my joy back and I've got my peace back.  Nahaja Black is back. The new phase in my life, the next chapter, will be to set my eyes on the cross.  The Holy Spirit told me that there are words that He wants me to speak and write.  Though I am not sure where this road is taking me, I know that I am being lead by Him and He said that if I make one step He will make two more for me.  It's time for me to take the plunge.  If you wish you can join me on this new journey with the Lord.  The name of my new blog will be called Purpose Driven.  Let's dive into the deep together.  I know for some that this isnt appealing and it all sounds good but hey I have nothing left to lose so why the heck not. :)