A Good Man

Webster defines the word 'Good' as (1): of a favorable character or tendency, (2): free from injury or disease, (3): not depreciated, (4): commercially sound, (5): that can be relied on, (6) : profitable, adventagous, (7) : of a noticeably large size or quantity, (8) Clever, Amusing. 

Now stop me if Im wrong ladies but doesn't 'good' sound darn good?  Isn't good exactly what we are loking for? Though 'good' sounds like a simple word it embodies everything that we need and want right?  Now lets put 'man' after it and we have considerable a prize worth winning.

Lets face it women, 'good' men are hard to find and even harder to find in the Bahamas, with so few in the gene pool no wonder why women settle.  Its sad but true, but when you have found one and he desires you thank the Lord in many tongues because you have been and highly favored.   Listen after everything God made in the beginning all he said after was "This is Good".  God didnt need any extra words like fabulous, or awesome just Good.  Heck God, Himself, put His name in good just so you know how good 'good' is.  Feel me?   Just like a woman is like a beautiful accessory to him so is a good man like a luxury vehicle, your proud to own it, love the interior just as much as the exterior, a lifetime warranty and what a smooth ride.  Gatta love um. 

I must confess ladies that I have a Good Man.  I've got a man that calls me through the day to see how I'm doing, a man who massages my feet, who tells me how he loves me. I've got a man that takes care of me to where I need for nothing.  A man who sees his future with only me and our family in it.  There is no threat of anything or anyone taking my place.  Through this whole ordeal he has been my biggest support.  He prays for me and with me.  He understands my tears and doesnt pressure me to be someone or something that I'm not.  Even when we argue or disagree we are never at risk of falling apart. Everyday the unspoken is still heard and the intangible seen.  Together we are unstoppable, a formidable force, we are the Blacks.  Black is Back!!!!

Ok ok so whats your point Nahaja?  Are you gonna write an entire post about you and your lovie dovie relationship?  Well, um yeah!!  LOL  Ok being serious now the reason that this post is important is that as I look back at us losing Malik I realized that no matter what good you think that you've done or how great you think your life is at any moment tragedy can come and what keeps you is love.  Love from your family, love from your friends and love from your spouse.  I dont know how I could have gotten through this without Marquin.  I don't know how I would have slept if he wasnt there laying beside me and taking care of me. His love helped to restore me but it is a love that was tested.  

How do you know when love is real, is it proven by how you feel, that is, is it related to the fact that you have never felt this way before?  Well the truth of the matter is you never know the strength of a thing until its tested.  A building is only as strong as its foundation so how do you test the foundation?  You plan it perfectly and follow the rules of engagement then you give it time to cure, then finally the big test, you build on it and wait and see.  Huge skyscrapers are built to sway in the breeze just like bridges.  They cant be rigid but rather have a bit of a give so that they sway in the high winds to avoid collapse.  Thats how a relationship is, the same with love.  Love realizes that stuff happens and makes room for the swaying and gives a bit.  Love gets stronger after a test.  Love gets fortifide and becomes greater between two people when they have been tested and have passed.  In a test like ours we always knew before this loss happened that we, each other, came first.  I remember asking Marquin this question before we were even pregnant and once again during the pregnancy, "If the doctors said that there was a problem with the baby and you were made to choose between me or the baby which would you choose?" Without hesitation he always said, "You". 

I remember in an earlier post I mentioned how the storm of losing Malik was around a category 4, the reason why it was only a category 4 was because to lose Marquin would be the most devastating.  I know I can recover from losing Malik, even though the emptiness of his loss may never go away, but I know that I would be beyond devastated if I lost Marquin, my best friend and my love.   How do you replace love?  How do you forget love?  Once you have loved it is hard to turn back, it is hard to just move on and not long for that again.  As sistas we are famous for loving the wrong person and then find ourselves bleeding on the floor.  Love is a powerful and yet sometimes deadly weapon.  It can even be considered a weapon of mass destruction if you count the mass as your entire being.  

I think the reason why good men may be hard to find for us is because we don't know how to look for them.  We carry so much baggage and so many ill concieved notions of a good man that we miss the 'right man'.  You see the good man for you is not only the one that meets the above definition of good but also the one that meets God's standard of right.  We always fall for the good but never for the right.  The reason being is that 'right now good' always seems to trump the 'right good'.  We are so busy complaining about the grunt fishes that we have been catching that we have neglected to notice the school of grouper on the other side of the boat.  Sometimes all it takes is a change in our approach.  Shucks after fishing for so long and losing hope, Jesus came and told Peter those, "cast your net on the other side."  The Bible said that they caught so much fish that they had to drag the net behind them.  Sometimes all it takes is for us to listen to God's direction.  He knows where your 'more than enough' is, all it takes is trust.  

We Dont Know Anything About Music

Last night was the first time that Ive step foot in a church since August 29th.  Nyoshie took me to one of her friend's church where they were having a gospel concert. To my suprise their guest artist was Twinkie Clarke, one of the Clarke sisters.  It was an awesomely refreshing experience. The sensation was like waking up on a cool autumn morning where the air is light and fresh or like drinking a sweet cool drink in the height of summer.  It provided a spark in the tiny dark room called my life at that moment.  To see my brothers and sisters in the kingdom worship the same as we do in the Bahamas brought a smile on my face.  To see young people embrace and dance to the music reminded me of who I was or better yet who I am.  To walk into a place of worship and know that no one knew my history, my hurt or loss was wonderful, to only see smiles and no remorse made the experience even more satisfying.   

Yet it was the music that was the balm to my soul.  The sweet melodious sounds of voices that blended so smooth, rich and sweet like honey.  It was the music that awakened my dormant spirit.  It was like jump starting a dead battery.  The music was so strong and powerful yet soft enough to nurture the broken spirit.  The voices of these human angels sang the songs of heaven and worship that made my heart smile.  They sang with so much ease and confidence that my inward smile became my outward expression.  Four voices sounds like a 30 piece orchestra. Four voices demanded that we put our entire praise team into a voice training boot camp.  Four people made our laughable choral seem like a body of standing corpses.  Four voices!!!  My God!. Its a good thing whenever we sing God filters out the sound and hears to music that comes from our heart and not our throats.  

These brothers and sisters here can SANG!  Don't get me started on Twinkie Clarke, that short big butt woman can blow the ocean back some hundred feet from the shore.  The sista can make the deaf hear a note and embrace the groove.  Her voice can send shivers down your spine and then make your mouth have a permit dropped jaw position.  We dont have anything on these Americans when it comes to music.  Oh and did I mention that it was FREE.  Hell yeah it was FREE.  When was the last time we went to a free concert that included anyone other than the "Jesus Dont Leave Me Now Church of God Second Catherdral Prophecy Final Hour Full Gospel Mass Choir Praise Group Choral, or better yet a concert without our 'no verse' DJ Counsellor and 'yah yah' Avelanchee? Someone please tell me when was the last time you listened to great live music with voices that the angels get jealous of because we were putting them out of business?   Ummmm, either never or not in a long long time.  Such I have been so accustomed to "our" singing that I forgot that good/great/awesome singing existed.   Beautiful voices that sing to God when you hear it is like taking a bath after being underground for months and your body covered with grim and dirt.  Its just that refreshing.  The sad part about this is is that we don't even think about it anymore, we have had the bad for so long that we think that its good.  God help me when I do go back to church, I am certain I am gonna feel jipped.  Probably ask for a praise team refund.