Dead Woman Walking

Ok so its been two months now and I'm more lost than ever.  I guess people are expecting me to be ok now but no such luck.  Actually it feels like the walls are closing in on me and I am running out of air.  The best thing about being back home is being with Marquin, the worst thing about being back home is just being back home.  I am just reminded more and more about what I should be enjoying but am not.  Then Im reminded that Im feeling sorry for myself but So What!  Don't I have a right to be sad and not feel guilty for it.  Thats how people make me feel, like I shouldnt be sad and if I am, Im weak.  Well screw them!!!  I am trying my best to get over it but I cant pin point how.   Heck I am not even thinking of him most of the time.  Its like I have this grey cloud over my head and it keeps following me so even in my good days its never good enough.  This sucks!!! Im out!!!